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Too Bad Teenagers Can’t Hang Out At Sky Mall

by Derek Sisterhen on September 20, 2010

In the month of August I spent 26 hours in seven airplanes. And not one of those seven airplanes was absent a complimentary copy of Sky Mall, the shopping catalog so transcendent, so magnificent they can’t even keep it on earth. It can only be enjoyed at 32,000 feet.

Have you ever found yourself wondering what to do with your pet when company comes to visit? “Where to put Fluffy? Where to put Fluffy?” I’m sure you’ve asked yourself before.

Well, why not order an end table pet cage? That’s right! It looks like a sofa end table – you can even set your drink and a table lamp on top – but Fluffy can rest soundly below, behind the luxurious amber-stained oak cage bars.

It’s awfully uncomfortable sleeping on an airplane, isn’t it? If only there were a sleep system designed to make a coach seat feel like your living room sofa… But wait, there is a way! Enter the inflatable tray top pillow! Just manually inflate the wedge-shaped pillow, rest it on your tray, lean forward and sleep away the friendly skies! (Drool collection system sold separately.)

What’s ironic to me about Sky Mall is that, in the midst of me thinking that 93.6% of their products are absolutely ridiculous, they continue to put out catalogs.

Someone is buying this stuff!

So, what do we learn about ourselves when we read Sky Mall? Is Sky Mall in some form or fashion a commentary on who we are?

I think Sky Mall shows how much we love luxury and convenience, even if we have no luxurious or convenient place to put the luxury or convenience items. Plainly: Sky Mall helps us pretend we are something we aren’t.

Which makes me think of teenagers, because isn’t that the MO of most teenagers these days, to pretend you are something you aren’t? So, maybe it’s teenagers who keep the Sky Mall kingdom afloat.

Because adults would never have those kinds of image problems. Would they?

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