by Derek Sisterhen on September 1, 2010
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Past Due: Radio 121 Past Due – The Men & Women Behind The Curtain
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Did you ever hear that you are the sum total of all the decisions you’ve made in your life? The financial implications for your future are huge!
Today we talked about who we are behind the curtain – in our minds and in our hearts – and how that has been influenced by our upbringing, our relationships, and our careers. You can learn from those past experiences to improve your financial picture, though.
But first, kick back, put on some sweat pants; it’s time to talk about learning from your past so you can begin living a life of significance today!
Today’s Mentionables:
The Most Important Year in a Man’s/Woman’s Life – excellent book on reconciling your past so you can live a significant future
Derek’s Story – previous episode where I shared my story out of debt and through a career change
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by Derek Sisterhen on August 18, 2010
Alright, I’ll admit it: I get some twisted form of guilty pleasure from a few reality shows. Last night I was watching “Dating In The Dark” – ABC’s show about twenty- and thirty-something singles who go on dates in a pitch-black room. At its core this is a social experiment (which is the only way I can attempt to justify watching it – it’s science). The show is trying to answer a timeless question: is love really blind, or does physical attractiveness control everything?
So, naturally my mind wandered into the realm of personal finances.
For those out there who are in engaged to be married, are you dating your spouse-to-be in financial darkness? Do you know how your fiancé behaves with money? If he has debt? If she likes to save money?
What if you’ve been married for awhile? You probably have a very good understanding of your mate’s strengths and weaknesses, but do you know how to handle money together in a productive, intimacy-building way?
When I was doing research for Get Naked: Stripping Down to Money & Marriage, I found a study revealing that 84% of married people cite money as the primary source of tension in their marriages.
There isn’t even a close second.
Whether we are engaged or married, many of the couples in this country are operating in darkness. Either we don’t know about our fiancé’s financial habits, or we don’t know the peace and passion we could be experiencing with our spouse.
The first step is to have a conversation and just talk about what money means to each of you. Prepare for this by reminding yourself to extend grace if you’re learning of habits or financial skeletons you didn’t know about before.
If you’re committed to each other first and foremost, you can work toward a position of unity, which feels as reassuring as finding a light switch in the darkness.
by Derek Sisterhen on August 12, 2010
Growing up, I recall my dad regularly saying, “I don’t need much; I can live a Spartan existence.” I was confused by that, because didn’t the Spartans hide in a huge horse and then jump out and attack their enemies? (No, it turns out, those were the Trojans.)
Spartans led a particularly simple lifestyle. They didn’t accumulate much and, aside from the clothes on their backs, could probably count on two hands the material possessions to their names.
One social change researchers are beginning to see take root in the wake of the recession is a return to simplicity among a growing segment of Americans. Not only simplicity in living, but downright purging of stuff. New websites and blogs are popping up all over the place chronicling the journey these Americans have embarked upon in an effort to let go.
Tammy Strobel (www.rowdykittens.com) and her husband have made it a point to live life with no more than 100 personal items. They live in a 400-square foot apartment in Oregon. She owns four plates, three pairs of shoes, and two pots. They got rid of their cars and dumped $30,000 in debt.
Today, Tammy is a freelance writer making just over half of what she used to as a project manager for an investment company. And yet, she and her husband can afford to take trips to visit family and friends, focusing more on building relationships instead of accumulating possessions, because they have very low expenses.
Researchers are studying the impact of these decisions and have found that humans are happiest when involved in strong relationships with others, not when they are spending money. However, when spending money, the greatest levels of happiness are derived from spending on experiences – travel, recreation, leisure – that facilitate the building of strong relationships.
So, if we choose to live like Spartans, it appears we’re choosing a life of simple significance over a life of stuff (including big wooden horses).
by Derek Sisterhen on August 4, 2010
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Past Due: Radio 117 – Borrowing Money From Loved Ones
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Sometimes the easiest place to get money is from someone we know – a parent, cousin, friend, co-worker, uncle, grandmother, and so on and so forth. But is that really the best decision? What happens to our relationships when we are indebted to a loved one?
On the other side of the coin, when is the timing right to lend money to a friend or family member in need? Is there a right way to loan money?
Today, I shared some real life examples of people borrowing and lending money with family and friends. The outcomes may surprise you (or maybe not).
Today’s Mentionables:
Get Naked: Stripping Down to Money & Marriage – my latest book has just been published!
Boundaries – Henry Cloud’s book on when to say “Yes” and when to say “No”
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